he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
