I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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