I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
