I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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