I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
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