1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
