That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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