YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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