What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
