she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Randomize
