If i come over, it means nothing
accomplished twins. life is a go
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
