Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
