Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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