yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Randomize
