Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
