actually, I'm a sock model
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
