Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Randomize
