Reggie can tackle my bush.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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