what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
