I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
