How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
never play flip cup with pint glasses
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
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