im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
