I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
