where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
