oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
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