If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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