this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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