Pregnant stripper...not hot.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Randomize
