so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
