Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
