also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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