Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
