Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
