There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
