But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
The air taste purple.
Randomize