i just google imaged poop.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
