if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
