I'm lost and stupid without you.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Randomize
