You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
you made out with another girl for some wings
Randomize
