Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
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