hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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