Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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