I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
