dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
