She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Randomize
