do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
