we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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