Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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