before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
