We're facebook friends in real life
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
You made out with two different species that night
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
