I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
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