I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
