what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
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