It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize