I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize