Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
