i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
where are you?
Hypothermia
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize