yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
