there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I wish i was in the wii world.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
