I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
My boob is missing a layer of skin
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Randomize
