I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
