need another drink. this is the easiest way
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
