office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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