what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
