I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
