In the future we'll all be gay
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Randomize
