all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Randomize
